To really do the work of indebting myself to a fictional mode of thought I must now reinforce my own lesson on myself with everyone to watch. It’s really just that I came across an article, found it deeply compelling and made the connection in my meat noggin’ that something is relevant here. The homework isn’t reading this post. The homework is reading this article. [WARNING] This article is about self harm and child exploitation among the youth. For some reason instead of doing their homework these children decided to go full ASM on each other.
Have you read it yet? Because I’m not going to summarize it. It’s a gripping read in that deeply morbid and very concerning way. I myself felt the urge to run online and save the children at this very moment because it’s just that interesting. Okay.
Moving on
I’d like to begin by noting the kids borderline gangsta nomenclature at tasking his fellow kids to either ‘submit’ or ‘fold’ to the highly illegal act. He was clearly smoking something and that’s the ego of his own head. The final refrain of the article, ‘We would be 764 gods if brad was here,’ loses itself in a self aggrandizement so large that weenie hut junior cannot contain them. From someone who’s cut himself to someone who’s cut himself you dun’ fucked up bro.
ASM psoriasis here refers to the offending username ‘Felix’ and gansta ‘764’ being carved into the skin of underage girls against their will. Nothing is more deeply bounding a human-to-human assimilative practice than bodily marking oneself. No, it’s not that he wanted a sick tattoo. He wanted his name carved into innocent flesh. How far wrong can the human go? We’re close to the edge. Very close. Absurdly. This isn’t about mental health. This is, dare I say, about morals.
Within Buddhism God is mentioned about as much as morals. That’s because it’s implicit. Right thought. Right speech. Right action. Bad word. Bad idea. Bad Buddhist. This is a gang after all! It’s just that the message is so much more endearing when it’s not in reference to self mutilation of minors under duress [+18]. I really genuinely want to know how I’m supposed to dive headlong into the ass end of the internet to save the life of these most impressionable youth.
Somewhere, somehow, some long time ago these people put the wrong thing inside their heart. They thought cramming themselves full of misanthropy and sadism, in their total application, would clear up what’s obviously gone wrong. I’ve seen arguments that 90% of humans are devoid of consciousness and the fact that this kid walked around doing as he did for years on end proves that at the very least 90% of the system is. I can’t even dream of ending up in those circles.
The willingness of harm
I know the siren song of violent content posted to the internet. Browsing through the mundane front pages of the average Joe never addicted anyone. We want the sick shit. We want the stuff that really rips. That’s why I read this article! Strangely though I can definitely note, on a personal level, that here now in my early thirties I never run close to seeing violent content because something in me stopped driving me close to the line. When was I always on the verge of seeing something nasty? In my late teens. I guess it hits early for some people then they dive in, become a kingpin and really put a dent in the world.
What about this case touches me so much more than all the true crime content I’ve come into contact with in the last days, weeks, months? It’s the sheer attitude. I can sense the dark core of adolescence behind everything he did. It’s so cut-and-dry. Kid falls apart. Kid recedes into himself. Kid goes online. Kid drinks deep. The rabbit hole isn’t much of a rabbit hole when you’re only googling rabbits. The kid asked for it. He really truly did. I applaud sentencing him for eighty years, considering. The algorithm which refused to involuntarily serve [NSFL] into our eyes wasn’t working so he manned up and did the job for it.
The willingness of harm. These things don’t do themselves. This article sat down a little rabbit hole for me. I was reading about the non-ideological mass shooting phenomenon. Apparently kids such as these don’t even need a reason to do it. They do it because they want to. For it’s sake. Because it’s cool. How ASM is that? Following along in the act. The complete purity of cause. Someone had it bad and didn’t even hit the rails. Even bragged about it. Went around calling himself the big dog. Had a following. A following of pedophiles. He walked them like a dog. Collected their interest. Distributed it out to them at meal time.
Vengeful Planet
It really does confound me that this particular case moved me so much until I realized that he roamed the servers of Discord, a place I also once inhabited in a very personal sense. I too came across people who broke the rules and I looked at it with deep apathy. It seemed like a nightmare for the moderators to deal with. It was a constant headache. Like involving yourself in disaster work for no pay. All you’re here to do is let people talk to each other and instead they go around posting gross shit, doing weird shit and being mean. You know I had bad stuff going on in my head but I managed to keep it almost entirely to myself. This kid went so far beyond that that I can’t feel sorry for him. I’m frankly amazed. The only explanation I can find is that he had it in his heart because to me it’s worth nothing.
I’ve read about other weird, potentially illegal, online subcultures and this is the only one that strikes me as relatable. I once tried writing a nihilist manifesto and I’ve never shown it to anyone. Within me is contained all the potential and none of the choices. It’s a direction you have to consciously steer in. First came the thought but then it stopped right there because I still held to some other more wise inclination. What would this do to people? What would this mean for me? How could this blow back? It was filled with unease. Making someone cut themselves is like spreading the disease. More real than just speaking something he wanted it on their body. He wanted real absolute proof of his actions signed in their blood, literally. That’s like a drug maker putting on their little mark or using a stamp. It’s a signature. I did this. I wanted it. I like it. He designed their misery like an artist.